AVRIL

Dear God, You stand when all else falls.
You make the impossible,possible.
You are the only truth

Benjamin, 6th Jan , ♥


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Music Playlist at MixPod.com

“You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess”

March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010


I have no idea if i should be happy or what.
Is this gonna be a blessing in disguise? Or is this just another trick you're up to to make my life miserable? At this point of time, i seriously just hope that everything falls in place, I'm not gonna let my heart take over my head. Because every time that happens, I'm just so dead.
I am always in dilemma when it comes to (inserts), why in the world did you even return? We all didn't expect that to happen, but in actual fact, it did happen and its not gonna change. I kept quiet the whole afternoon, acting like it was alright, But inside me, there's a storm brewing.
Its okay avril. everything's fine. you just screwed yourself and your common test, its nothing, really.


Don't you know i've tried and i've tried to get you out of my mind~

HAPPY 2nd ANNIVERSARYYYYY!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Its 24th July! Time seriously passes sooo fast. Anyway, spent the day with Jiaen at Orchard!!! Trained down to Orchard then taka>centrepoint>heeren>313somerset! :D

Great time walking around, my blog has been pictureless for too long, so let me let the pictures do the talking. :D

Ichigo Milk, pretty? Actually its just Strawberry milk. LOL!!

Hi people,
I'm feeling nostalgic~
Was listening to 25 minutes by MLTR, suddenly felt like i'm lost in time~ back to what it was before.
I'm so tired, too much burdens on me, very heavy.
No idea what to blog, but i know my attitude is really knn nowadays. I'm so sorry!
And, i felt so shitty TODAY.
If you know why, then you know. If you don't, then you don't.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT I GOT FOR ALL MY HARDWORK. Zzz. TMMD.
The BEST thing about today was, having lunch with Liangying, tzexin, youyan, lester& hidayat!
Before assembly was SHIT/RUBBISH!
Learning fest is coming, i haven't start on my lit, at all. -.-
FML.


wish we were back to the time when we were more than friends...
do you remember this day two years back?

Hi people, this post will be long, cos it's a summary of this whole week.

MONDAY, 120710.
Gb day, turned out pretty well. Muchmuch better than what i really expected.
Thanks for all the support, all the encouragements, without those, i won't be able to make it.
Thank God for all that happened on Monday.
Thanks to BB&Wenlin. Thousand thanks to all the people out there.

TUESDAY, 130710
CL ORAL, screwed up. Got scolded by my chinese teacher.
I'm so dead, its 20%. Its alot! But, oh well, there's still Paper 1&2.
Aftermath, went to Tampines 1 with LIANGYING! to decorate Gabriel's birthday cake! It was super duper cute. ^^

WEDNESDAY, 140710
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABRIEL!!!~~~
Celebrated his birthday during lunch. Mr Singh stopped us and "confiscated" our cake. Got it back after school. (:

THURSDAY, 150710
NDP AUDTION FOR PRCS.
Horrible, terrible, vegetable.
I've finally got the feeling of you've finally gotten something you want, but when you get it, more problems surfaced.
I've got the position for the flag bearer. I'm supposed to be happy, right? But i don't feel happy AT ALL.
I don't think i deserved it. There were SJAB, NCC, GG & BB.
BB should have gotten it, not me. I feel so guilty for getting that position. How?
After al, I've learned how to shout commands from BB, they are my so called 'teachers', how can i take the positionnn? Damn.

FRIDAY, 160710
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIQI!!!! :D
Bad mood today, mood swings. Sorry for my f*ckedup attitude. Terribly sorry. Didn't mean to diao you, didn't mean to push you, didn't mean to dao you. SORRY.
Recess, got so angry that i found a target to shoot. Ended up, i think the whole school @ the canteen know what happened. They said i was like a machine gun, -.- I think my scolding skills improved, cos i talked sooooo fast, and i din stutter. v^^v
After school, homed>bugis with LIANGYING!> KOI CAFE!!!!> Queen St> Bugis St> HSH. :D
KOI CAFE IS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
For the first time of my life, i drank a bubble tea that costs $4.30, needs to get a queue number, and its goddamn crowded. BUTTT, it was totally worth the price! COCOA BARRY, THE CRAZIEST DRINK YOU CAN FIND IN SINGAPORE. Kindly ask for 70% of sugar cos 100% is too sweet. :X
Oh ya, its at Iluma, just beside it. If not, you can ask the lady at the information counter, cos thats what i did. -.-
I'm much better now. Sorry if i caused you guys to worry about me. ):
Gonna have a talk with *insertsname* tmr. Hais.



Hi people, this post shall be short+sweet.
Cos i'm tired!~~
Currently picture-less. I can't find my card reader. #$%^&
Anyway, spent a great time at SP, (:
Crss wired connections were AWESOMEE, just that the judges had some screw loose.
LETS SCREW THE NASTYYYY TURTLESSS.
Can't believe they got 2nd place. -.-
Even a music noob like me can see that they super can't make it. It should have been CWC.
BUT!~
You guys were still so awesome, still so handsome! :D
ZAFRULLLLLL, YOU ROCKKKK!!! ^^v
HAHAHA!
okay, i will talk more when i have the pictures, some musicians there are quite good looking, was discussing this together with Jiaen & Elly just now, haha. (:
BYE BYE PEOPLE. :D

Hello people. :D
This 2 days have been awesome and i'm sure tomorrow will be awesome too, :D
Yesterday went for lunch with Liangying! after school. ^^
Today lunched with Sophia, XY and rachel. :D
I am very honoured and happy todayyyy.
WHY HONOURED????
COS THE EX CSM AND EX UL OF BB AND NCC TAUGHT ME TO SHOUT FROM MY DIAPHRAGM. v^^v
Super happy when i managed to shout using my diaphragm leh! ;))
And and, syafiq, jiajun, atiyya, zharfran, ismail and some others all said it wasn't weird ! It was just fierce. Haha.
This may sound weird, but it feels soooo good to get the confirmation from others. ^^V
I don't care if people were to laugh at me, because i know that i have done my best.
Jonathan made a promise that will happen in the near future. I hope that day comes soon. :)

Heading to SP tomorrow to support ZAFRULLLL!!!
CROSS WIRED CONNECTIONS ROCKS TO THE MAXXXX!!! ^^V
GO ZAF!!! Your mom is always behind you. x)


Have you ever felt like sleeping and when you wake up, all the awful things are gone?
Or maybe, just falling asleep and not wake up, just to escape from reality.
Cos this reality is just getting so horrible that i myself have no idea if i can take it.
This is gonna be wordy, you can just press alt+f4.

I feel like a useless piece of shit now.
At the same time, i also feel like the toilet bowl, taking all the things that are thrown to me regardless if i'm willing or not.
But don't you guys think that even the toilet bowl deserve some kind of respect?
Sometimes, i really feel like saying all these to your faces.
Have you guys ever tried putting yourselves in my shoes?
Have you ever felt that kinda stress in your entire life before?
That kind of feeling is just so suffocating, its like no matter how many breaths of air you breathe in, you can never get enough oxygen.
Do you guys think that shouting in the basketball court with NCC around is funny? I just made a fool out of myself without complaining. I felt so guilty when BB had to actually help and i'm still doing a shitty job.
Can i just throw every single thing down and lead my life normally, concentrating on my studies? I have been putting so much time and effort in this whole group of people and what's my reward?
Getting picked by people who claimed that we are not disciplined at all.
Honestly speaking, if i were an outsider and i saw this kind of standard. I would thank God that i'm not in this cca.
Its not like I've given up or what, its just that I don't understand why our attitude is so bad!
We even need a BB to constantly remind us to RESPOND. Is it that hard?????
In front of BB its like this, in front of Mr. Ng, also like this. UG huh?
When i spent time reflecting~
I seriously think we are in this state because of me.
Because of my thinking that scolding won't work thats why i used the soft approach.
And what did i get in the end? Undisciplined cadets. Thats all.
Even BB thinks that i'm so lenient, lenient till i let people climb over my head.
Perhaps i'm the cause of all these. Do i even look like a UG? Do we even look like UG?
Maybe netball is even better than us in terms of discipline. Ironic much? UG no discipline?
A small group of 13 people, we can have so much unhappiness within us. Why? Or should i ask, How?
I'm not worried of getting laughed at next monday.
All i ask for is that little of pride , is it that hard?
After all that i've been doing since last year. I finally come to a point and realsie that all that i've done, is not worth it at all.

Sometimes i wonder if death is that scary after all.
Because in the end, we all have to die, don't we? Its all about the matter of time.
Shouldn't we live our life to the fullest with no regrets?
Shouldn't we not care about how people look at us?
Why should we always think about how people look at us?
Should we be prejudiced against some kind of people and look at them through tinted glasses and judge them?
We are all created by God, and now, the most ironic thing is that we are judging God's creation, we are destroying God's creation. What are we? Who are we to judge?

We should only be judged on one day, the day when we're dead. God is the only judge.

If you're wondering why I'm touching on such a sensitive issue, its just because I've heard some news from my mum that my aunt is not able to hold on for a long time~
She's been battling with cancer for years, from a small tumour, it elevated to something huge, from the intestines, to the lungs, then to the liver.
All the major organs in our bodies, undergoing chemotherapy for the past years, hoping that she would be able to survive and win the battle.
But currently, her situation isn't getting any better. Immune system is totally damaged.
Sometimes i really wonder if God is fair.
Why must they undergo such pain? Some say cancer can easily relapse, i pray hard it won't happen to ~
Seriously, life is so vulnerable. Let's just make good use of it. Instead of letting time pass without doing anything productive, shouldn't we do something that will brighten up people's day?

HELLOOOOO!!!!
I'm gonna blog about all the things that are happening recently~
>Gb yesterday
-New teachers, Nancy Ng + Miss Gan
-New Mdm Lynne
-Gb day on 12thjuly.
-Shouting and reading~
-Pray hard i don't screw it up.
-Lunched @ JustAcia
Today
>Tuition early in the morning~
>Chiong out at 1pm to TM to meet JIAEN!
> Reached TM at 1.15pm?
>Went to TRU to see *coughcoughs*
>Left at 2.30pm.
>Trained down to Orchard, Takashimaya
>Returned shirts to Baozhu
>Chit chat till 4.30pm.
>Food fair with Jiaen, bought alottt of foodddd!~
>HSH@7pm. (:

Okay, now i'm gonna blog about my feelings using Jiaen's style~
Yesterday, i went to school hoping i will see *coughcoughcough*
Today, i met *coughcough*, and it was weird~
But according to Jiaen, it wasn't weird.
Jiaen blogged that she is jealous about the photo with *coughcough*, but now i think, its nothing at all~
But i love *coughcough*'s voice, so~~~~~ idk how to describe.
Gb day is coming really soon~
I wonder how *coughcoughcough* feels, will *coughcoughcough* notice?~~
I think *coughcoughcoughcough* went in to camp already~
I miss *coughcoughcoughcough*, wonder how *coughcoughcoughcough* is doing now.
Do you think *coughcough* and i will meet again? I doubt so~~

OKAY, DONE.
This style very zai right? Jiaen's style, ^^v
CREDITS TO >>>> SIMJIAENNNNN!!!

This post's title, is exactly how i'm feeling now.
I feel distant, distant from myself.
Its like looking in the mirror and asking, who are you?
Its 2nd july, O level MT oral is coming in 11days, i know i'm not ready.
Given my attitude, i can easily flunk it.

Now i'm thinking, is it wrong for me to work over the holidays?
Because currently, i feel like i've gone back to the lazy avriltan.
If i continue this crap, i can see myself in ite.
When will i wake up?

Oh well, Gb's resuming tmr, new teacher in charge = nancy ng. =.=
Might as well kill me? Zzzz. :X
I feel distant from Gb too. Its like i'm slowly slowly floating away~~
On the happier note,
I'M MEETING MY TAKA WORKMATES ON SUNDAY!!!~~~
AND,
MONDAY IS YOUTH DAYYY!!!
Mummy's bringing me out!!! v^^v
Okay, i'll post when i feel there's a need to post,
BYEEEE!
只怪自己当初没有抓紧你的手, 失去了你我才知道你有多重要, 现在说后悔也没有用, 心虽然很痛, 只怪自己当初没有将爱说出口, 现在想说声爱你已找不到借口, 失去你以后, 我连呼吸也好难受