Love still stands when all else has fallen.
AVRIL
Dear God, You stand when all else falls.
You make the impossible,possible.
You are the only truth
Benjamin, 6th Jan , ♥
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“You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess”
speechless~
Tuesday, July 6, 2010 || 8:51 PM
Have you ever felt like sleeping and when you wake up, all the awful things are gone?
Or maybe, just falling asleep and not wake up, just to escape from reality.
Cos this reality is just getting so horrible that i myself have no idea if i can take it.
This is gonna be wordy, you can just press alt+f4.
I feel like a useless piece of shit now.
At the same time, i also feel like the toilet bowl, taking all the things that are thrown to me regardless if i'm willing or not.
But don't you guys think that even the toilet bowl deserve some kind of respect?
Sometimes, i really feel like saying all these to your faces.
Have you guys ever tried putting yourselves in my shoes?
Have you ever felt that kinda stress in your entire life before?
That kind of feeling is just so suffocating, its like no matter how many breaths of air you breathe in, you can never get enough oxygen.
Do you guys think that shouting in the basketball court with NCC around is funny? I just made a fool out of myself without complaining. I felt so guilty when BB had to actually help and i'm still doing a shitty job.
Can i just throw every single thing down and lead my life normally, concentrating on my studies? I have been putting so much time and effort in this whole group of people and what's my reward?
Getting picked by people who claimed that we are not disciplined at all.
Honestly speaking, if i were an outsider and i saw this kind of standard. I would thank God that i'm not in this cca.
Its not like I've given up or what, its just that I don't understand why our attitude is so bad!
We even need a BB to constantly remind us to RESPOND. Is it that hard?????
In front of BB its like this, in front of Mr. Ng, also like this. UG huh?
When i spent time reflecting~
I seriously think we are in this state because of me.
Because of my thinking that scolding won't work thats why i used the soft approach.
And what did i get in the end? Undisciplined cadets. Thats all.
Even BB thinks that i'm so lenient, lenient till i let people climb over my head.
Perhaps i'm the cause of all these. Do i even look like a UG? Do we even look like UG?
Maybe netball is even better than us in terms of discipline. Ironic much? UG no discipline?
A small group of 13 people, we can have so much unhappiness within us. Why? Or should i ask, How?
I'm not worried of getting laughed at next monday.
All i ask for is that little of pride , is it that hard?
After all that i've been doing since last year. I finally come to a point and realsie that all that i've done, is not worth it at all.